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Wednesday, November 09, 2005
don't be bothered by this entry, it's for myself to see.
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i'm not happy when i'm in class
if there's any shit that u detest bout me, let me know. i won't hate u, but don't fucking let me hear it form someone else.
i've been paranoid, damn paranoid. it sucks but i don't know why it's buggin me.
no one seems to understand how i felt. or am i feeling too much?
i'm anti-social, i'll just let it be. no point trying hard to blend in.
am i in tha right mindset?
i'm struggling, and it's fucking not necessary.
i'm very sick and tired of everything.
i'm not happy.
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Posted at 11/9/2005 11:53:46 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Saturday, October 15, 2005
i've decided bout those 2 things. silly me, they're not that major. i'm goin' camp, which is next monday to thursday. they'll always go genting next time. i'll go for my trainings and i'll train fucking hard, next time win competitions and earn big bucks.
took part in the OAAG REBRANDING competition. OAAG is a golf club, and they'll pay me 5000bucks if i win. 5k, i can buy so many shoes and psp, or 5 jingjings.
i want to clear this, it's not that i hate my class. i'm just pissed off sometimes, only sometimes. but i'm not angry. i'm just unhappy that why can't i for once be in an outgoing and 'on' class. i want to have fun. the chalet is over now, and we all had fun. i'm sure at least a little bit.
i'm getting more and more unhappy living in my auntie's haus. everything just sucks. anyone got empty room to keep me? i'll wash your toilet thrice every week in return. serious. let me move out to somewhere new. getting sick of here. and the people here. Get me out.
23 Sometimes.
Sometimes i feel like i can never get along with people.
Sometimes i feel like i'm better off alone.
Sometimes i just want run away.
Sometimes i think that the fucking world is against me.
Sometimes it's just odd walking around in town with people looking at me.
Sometimes i feel that i'm limping with 3 legs.
Sometimes i feel that i'm different from other human beings.
Sometimes i feel like i don't know who i am.
Sometimes i know i can live all alone on an island by myself.
Sometimes i think i need somebody to talk to.
Sometimes i don't understand why everyone thinks that i'm fucked up.
Sometimes i hide all these thoughts.
Sometimes i fake.
Sometimes i just want to eat.
Sometimes it's just so hard to trust.
Sometimes i get so uneasy of my surroundings.
Sometimes i'm so paranoid
Sometimes people just can't comprehend.
Sometimes i just don't know what i'm thinking of.
Sometimes life is not that bad.
Sometimes i don't have to be so sad.
Sometimes i feel like i suck.
Sometimes i think that they suck more.
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Posted at 10/15/2005 1:44:42 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005
I've got decisions to make now and i cannot make up my mind.
FIRST:
Should i spend my whole holiday on that
INTENSIVE TRAINING THING
or
ACCEPT THAT JOB AND EARN $$$???
SECOND:
Should i go to the SPARC CAMP
or holiday in Genting?
i can't decide
TELL ME
Posted at 10/4/2005 12:31:42 am by f_ckingGr8
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Friday, September 30, 2005
LISTEN UP FOLKIES!
I'm quite pissed off with my class..
now it's holiday and ying planned chalet and it seemed like nobody bothered.
she really took tha initiative to plan it but nobody's appreciating and cooperating.
that's not what's pissing me off really.
why is it that my classes are always so dead boring?
i can nvr really have much fun. and it sucks.
I was really excited bout tha chalet but only 4 confirmed going,
another 1/3 of tha class said maybe,
i guess the rests probably died.
i'm sorie for getting so fucked up but i'm really pissed this time!
it's not that the people from this class are bad ass,
but the Major problem with this class now is decision making, and it really sucks.
how to study together for 3 years?
i hope half the class drop out.
AaaaAAaaAaRrRRRrrrRGggGgGgghHHhhhHhhhh!!!!!!!
Posted at 9/30/2005 11:47:32 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Saturday, September 24, 2005
That Night The Lights Downstairs Came Alive and Danced For Me
Good saturday's night miss's & sirs.
ANNOUNCEMENT: ASSIGNMENTS OVER!
yeaps it's all over. & i guess i gave my best shot. expecting a list of As. (muahahahahahahas) kiddin but i seriously hope so.
I'm happy with my work. Especially fer FLASH and my latest poster design. Surprisingly and most unexpectingly impressed my lecturer wid my dreamweaver & i'm really happy bout it. tho it's a pair work, i did MOST of tha work and tha design. the last assignment which is that poster design, i'm quite satisfied with it. It's a live project, if my 'super duper cool' poster gets chosen it'll be printed on posters and zo-cards! how cool is that? I'm really happy that everythings' over, i was so damn exhausted. nvr so damn tired and stressed over skool work before, not even O'Levels. but i enjoyed doin what i'm doin. & that NUDE DRAWING session..... first time seeing That live, upclose and 'maybe-not-so' personal.
You know after all these assignments, and that past 2-3 f****** busy weeks, i noticed i've changed. it's nothin major but it's my working attitude. i'm getting so damn competittive that it's scary sometimes. i'm not like that. I'll slack all my damn life away but now i just do as much as i could fer any assignments. and it's tiring.. i always want to do my best, and be better than others and i'm definitely nothing like that in tha past. if i continue to be like that i think people will start hating me!!!!! and i hate myself being like that. maybe i've pressurised myself too much. Last time i'll laugh my ass out if i failed, but now grades mean alot to me. i want more As. Is this good or bad? Grrr....... slacker ken pls come back.
i think the only thing i should change is my blog. it feels so old now i really want to revamp it! maybe change another address..
I went to the CROWBARS AWARDS last night. It's the Emmy & Grammy Awards of Design. Learned alot there.. and got Really inspired. my seniors got were among the finalists in afew categories but we left that place empty handed. All the 100++ awards given out were split among LaSelle, Nafa and Temasek mostly. even np won. but i think next year we'll at least bring home afew awards. cus those seniors will be submitting their year 2 works and we'll be submitting ours. After all DCMD is still a baby course. i'm only the second batch (: I was so damn envious of all the winners last night. I want my own crowbars!!!! i promise i'll work harder for next year.
My fuckin' com's still dead. hate it. still using my auntie's laptop. better than nothing.. and tha first week of holiday's gone.. i really wanted to get a JOB but i don't think it's possible now. i've got that intensive training thing goin' on almost every weekday every week. but i need more $$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!
i'm sorie i've negleted so many people over tha last 2 weeks. i'm really busy last week i know u understand. How's everyone i've missed? Let's meet up soon? call me.
what else... erm if u're curious, jing's doin' fine. still alive and licking her paws. and i'm still wanting to make her into a Puppy-making-machine.
so here's my super long update i've promised.
i'm really tired now it's time i go bed.
and i want my crowbars.
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Posted at 9/24/2005 11:38:34 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Kill me, chop me into pieces and put them in orchard road
i've got so much things to do and alot of things to blog about but i've got no time. i'm sorie.
i'll be back soon i guess..
Posted at 9/13/2005 10:44:03 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Saturday, August 20, 2005
Wouldn't It Be Nice -The Beach Boys
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice?
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice
Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby
Posted at 8/20/2005 10:14:26 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Saturday, August 13, 2005
Enough Bullshit For People Who Just Couldn't Get Enough
I've not been online these days cus my damn com's infected by virus. now it's dead.
i went fishing last weekend in bintan! it was a hell load of fun.. ferry journey was about 1.30-2hrs long but it's cool being on the sea. fished with my dad, he's much better than 'i am'. muahahaha.. left s'pore on sat afternoon and returned on sun nyte with some stories to tell and a bad sun burn on my back. now it's peeling like snakes' skin. i've already grossed somebody out. eeeeekks.
VDS assignment is over, and i hope i'll do much better, hope i'll impress wendyS and leonS with this. this is the assignment i think i enjoyed the most, to date. hahha.. photoshop, need i say more?
...Lose One Get One
it's obvious to all that i broke off from my clique. i'm not happy. i really think i think too much sometimes, but i think too much because i care. underline that. Grrr... it feels really weird to be with another group of people, but we're havin fun as well. they're much more outgoing and interesting to mess with. And i got a new chinese name, Ke'En. It's absolutely translated from Ken, and "En" means grateful in mandarin.
my poddy's not with me! i lent it to merlion for afew days now i want it back! i want my music.
i've been skipping dragon boat training for 3-4 weeks now. i always have reasons and excuses to every single time. and i'm lazy. hahha..
Listening to oldies. From elvis to the beach boys; CLASSICS and Eagles, rock legends like Guns & Roses to Nirvana, and all the way to the 90s. It's not the same OLD stuffs.
Jingjing's mensus is over, i guess. no more small patches of blood on the floor in the mornings, and no more pms. she's a happier doggie now who lost weight and shedding ALOT of fur these days.
it was National Day on tuesday, i didn't bother much, slept thru tha whole day, happy holiday. We went out for Seoul Garden, played pool, watched the fireworks at mid-night, and thon-ed outside tha nyte before that. Had fun with my classmates. nice peeps
..I feel my time is stolen
i'm won't be online, anything just dial my no. yea? Take care, don't fall sick.
I like you, and i think you like me too :) |
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Posted at 8/13/2005 7:38:39 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Monday, August 01, 2005
here's tha first entry of ______august
i'm free at this hour so here i am :)
my so-called holidays ended, now i'll be busy again.. new assignments to work on, new tasks to complete.
i'm not very happy today.. i think something's wrong somewhere but nobody seems to be aware of.. i'm getting pissed again, hahha.. i'm not being paranoid and somehow i'm like glass, transparent. not that dey can see thru me (well maybe they could), they can't see me.. maybe i'm not making sense.. they're not falling apart, everything's fine. i'm an extra jigsaw puzzle piece.. maybe i'm paranoid.. i'm tired.
i don't think they'll be here to read that, so it's alrite. hmm.. there's something i think i needa do. there's a bit of problem, but i think it'll be fine.
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i got my hair dyed at Joelle's friend's friend's place at a cheaper price. connections. It's not golden! it's supposed to be metallic hazel and grey. but tha grey faded.. Sadded..
i like you
i think u like me too. |
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That little red bridge that leads to nowhere
.......(to be continued)
Posted at 8/1/2005 8:13:57 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Thursday, July 28, 2005
new entry
it's holiday week, but there's stil so much things to do
bullshit isn't it?
both my formal presentatino yesterday's pretty screwed up
hahhakx..
i really enjoy myself last nyte, all of us had fun and THE ISLAND is simply great. Go watch it.
It's week 9 of skool, how fast? i really burned out keeping wid tha fast pace. it's really hard for me to survive in this hectic environment. i'm too lazy.
i think my clique's falling apart, i don' tthink dey'll read this anyway. we really had fun in tha start, but now we seem to drift apart. or maybe only me? i don't know.. i hope dey felt this problem as well.. and we can work something out.
I want to pierce my lips and tongue so badly but my auntie threatend that she'll throw all my clothes out tha window.. how mean of her, as if she's tha one being pierced. |
i tried and i'm doing my part to bring tha class closer together. hahha.. how nice of me.
i've learned that i shld spend my time wisely and concentrate on tha right stuff.. there's no use getting pissed, frustrated and affected by things that bothers me. i shldn't even be bothered. i'll let go of all those shit, wipe my ass clean and flush everything down tha toilet bowl. learn from me. or maybe u shldn't..
i'm fuckin' addicted to OASIS's WONDERWALL. it's my favourite shower song at tha moment. |
wad else..
i really want to renovate my blog!!!! put a new vid cus i'm gettin sick of it. put more links of my fav bands, put in more interactive stuffs and all but there's no freakin time.
i don't think there'll be another entry any time
soon, |
take care
i stole Josef Muller Brockmann's style. |
Posted at 7/28/2005 9:20:00 pm by f_ckingGr8
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Ken/kennyboi/paranoia/emokid/ke'En
Slack inc.
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